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I foresee this year containing eleven SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of an old man's hat

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2020-03-31

I foresee this day containing ZERO frog haircuts because of a surge in online auctions

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2020-03-31

I foresee this decade containing 4073098130107507 underwear models because of The Last Jedi being a SHIT movie

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2020-03-31

I foresee this hour containing 298 midgets because of a hat that wears a smaller hat as its hat

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2020-03-30

I foresee this half an hour containing some pencil erasers because of reasons...

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2020-03-30

I foresee this year containing TONNES of purple monkeys because of salty pirates on a boat.

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2020-03-29

I foresee this year containing infinity frog haircuts because of someone told me to say this

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2020-03-29

Wisdom: If you find yourself peeing alone always remember to realize you suck

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2020-03-28

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to make tacos

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2020-03-26

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-03-24

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-03-24

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2020-03-24

I foresee this year containing 20202024483931035718 whiskey bottles because of someone told me to say this

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2020-03-24

I foresee this week containing 793 SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of the algorithm that writes these tweets

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2020-03-23

I foresee this season containing 793 grandfather elbows because of cha cha dancers

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2020-03-23

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-03-23

Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember block of cheese

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2020-03-22

I foresee this season containing 298 frog haircuts because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-03-22

I foresee this decade containing a few FATTY-TATTY JELLY-BELLY BITCH-TITS because of microwave popcorn

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2020-03-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-03-22