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I foresee this half an hour containing 1298 midgets because of an old man's hat

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2020-03-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself 'INSERT EMOTION HERE' always remember to give up and go home

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2020-03-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself looking up always remember to try harder

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2020-03-22

I foresee this day containing TONNES of desks because of money doesn't grow on trees

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2020-03-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself with an empty fridge always remember to realize you suck

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2020-03-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember to make tacos

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2020-03-20

I foresee this decade containing 3 hamburgers because of microwave popcorn

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2020-03-20

I foresee this week containing loads of yoyos because of a hat that wears a smaller hat as its hat

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2020-03-20

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to give up and go home

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2020-03-20

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember block of cheese

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2020-03-20

Wisdom: If you find yourself eating a sandwich always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-03-20

I foresee this hour containing loads of sad clowns because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-03-19

I foresee this day containing -1 whiskey bottles because of The Last Jedi being a SHIT movie

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2020-03-19

I foresee this season containing -1 shower income because of money doesn't grow on trees

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2020-03-19

I foresee this hour containing a few desks because of someone told me to say this

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2020-03-18

I foresee this season containing a few toilet tigers because of a hole in my neighbor's roof

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2020-03-18

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to try harder

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2020-03-18

Wisdom: If you find yourself 'INSERT EMOTION HERE' always remember to try harder

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2020-03-17

I foresee this year containing 279 SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-03-17

I foresee this season containing 133 ASSHOLES because of your mom's appetite

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2020-03-17