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Wisdom: If you find yourself with an empty fridge always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-03-17

I foresee this decade containing 20202024483931035718 papayas because of GLOBAL WARMING

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2020-03-17

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2020-03-16

I foresee this season containing 78 empty paper bags because of you

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2020-03-16

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-03-16

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-03-16

Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember to give up and go home

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2020-03-15

I foresee this decade containing loads of pencil erasers because of you

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2020-03-15

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to try harder

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2020-03-15

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2020-03-15

I foresee this season containing shitloads of bird shits because of life being the way it is Son.

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2020-03-15

I foresee this week containing 890 meatballs because of you

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2020-03-14

Wisdom: If you find yourself 'INSERT EMOTION HERE' always remember to make tacos

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2020-03-14

Wisdom: If you find yourself 'INSERT EMOTION HERE' always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2020-03-13

Wisdom: If you find yourself looking up always remember block of cheese

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2020-03-13

I foresee this half an hour containing 13 toothpaste tubes because of life being the way it is Son.

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2020-03-13

I foresee this decade containing 20202024483931035718 yoyos because of reasons...

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2020-03-13

I foresee this day containing TONNES of FATTY-TATTY JELLY-BELLY BITCH-TITS because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-03-13

I foresee this hour containing 13 papayas because of someone told me to say this

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2020-03-12

Wisdom: If you find yourself eating a sandwich always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-03-12