Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to realize you suck

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Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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I foresee this month containing a few whiskey bottles because of a surge in online auctions

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I foresee this season containing 3 goldfish because of microwave popcorn

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I foresee this week containing 13 bird shits because of someone told me to say this

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Wisdom: If you find yourself eating a sandwich always remember to try harder

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I foresee this half an hour containing too many whiskey bottles because of crispy muffins

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I foresee this half an hour containing 279 empty paper bags because of microwave popcorn

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I foresee this half an hour containing -1 purple monkeys because of microwave popcorn

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Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember to realize you suck

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Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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I foresee this day containing a reasonable amount of snakes because of foam peanuts

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I foresee this hour containing bucket loads of papayas because of salty pirates on a boat.

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Wisdom: If you find yourself eating a sandwich always remember to make tacos

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I foresee this hour containing 78 whiskey bottles because of cha cha dancers

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I foresee this month containing 4083 purple monkeys because of a hole in my neighbor's roof

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Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to give up and go home

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Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to realize you suck

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