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Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to give up and go home

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2020-02-23

Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember to make tacos

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2020-02-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember to give up and go home

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2020-02-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-02-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself peeing alone always remember to make tacos

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2020-02-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-02-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself peeing alone always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-02-22

I foresee this hour containing eleven views on Youtube because of the algorithm that writes these tweets

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2020-02-21

I foresee this week containing a considerable amount of SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of a hole in my neighbor's roof

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2020-02-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember block of cheese

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2020-02-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-02-20

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to try harder

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2020-02-20

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-02-20

I foresee this month containing no snakes because of crispy muffins

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2020-02-19

I foresee this week containing 44 toothpaste tubes because of your mom's appetite

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2020-02-19

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember to realize you suck

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2020-02-19

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember to make tacos

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2020-02-18

I foresee this hour containing a considerable amount of FATTY-TATTY JELLY-BELLY BITCH-TITS because of someone told me to say this

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2020-02-18

I foresee this month containing eleven ASSHOLES because of microwave popcorn

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2020-02-18

I foresee this half an hour containing 283 bat testicles because of GLOBAL WARMING

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2020-02-18