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I foresee this hour containing 20202024483931035718 meatballs because of salty pirates on a boat.

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2019-11-27

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2019-11-27

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to make tacos

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2019-11-26

I foresee this season containing bucket loads of empty paper bags because of reasons...

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2019-11-26

I foresee this week containing bucket loads of grandfather elbows because of your mom's appetite

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2019-11-26

I foresee this hour containing a reasonable amount of shower income because of you

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2019-11-26

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember block of cheese

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2019-11-25

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to try harder

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2019-11-25

I foresee this day containing a few balloons with your face on them because of a hole in my neighbor's roof

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2019-11-25

I foresee this decade containing bucket loads of shower income because of reasons...

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2019-11-24

Wisdom: If you find yourself peeing alone always remember block of cheese

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2019-11-24

I foresee this day containing 4073098130107507 papayas because of a hole in my neighbor's roof

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2019-11-23

I foresee this day containing 298 views on Youtube because of your mom's appetite

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2019-11-23

Wisdom: If you find yourself peeing alone always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2019-11-23

Wisdom: If you find yourself looking up always remember no one loves you Dave

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2019-11-23

I foresee this decade containing -1 bat testicles because of the polar vortex

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2019-11-22

I foresee this hour containing 13 frog haircuts because of cha cha dancers

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2019-11-22

I foresee this hour containing ZERO hamburgers because of the polar vortex

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2019-11-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2019-11-21

I foresee this week containing 279 toothpaste tubes because of money doesn't grow on trees

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2019-11-21