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Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember to make tacos

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2019-10-27

I foresee this day containing -1 spelleng mestakes because of someone told me to say this

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2019-10-27

I foresee this day containing 890 shower income because of salty pirates on a boat.

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2019-10-27

Wisdom: If you find yourself eating a sandwich always remember block of cheese

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2019-10-27

Wisdom: If you find yourself peeing alone always remember to try harder

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2019-10-27

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2019-10-27

I foresee this month containing ZERO snakes because of someone told me to say this

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2019-10-27

I foresee this week containing 4730297812094.4738902709734.9.0 hamburgers because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2019-10-26

I foresee this season containing 279 sad clowns because of The Last Jedi being a SHIT movie

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2019-10-26

I foresee this day containing a reasonable amount of desks because of the algorithm that writes these tweets

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2019-10-26

Wisdom: If you find yourself 'INSERT EMOTION HERE' always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2019-10-26

I foresee this season containing 78 ASSHOLES because of an old man's hat

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2019-10-25

Wisdom: If you find yourself feeling good about life always remember block of cheese

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2019-10-25

I foresee this hour containing 1088 frog haircuts because of foam peanuts

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2019-10-25

I foresee this year containing shitloads of pencil erasers because of sandals

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2019-10-25

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2019-10-25

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to give up and go home

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2019-10-25

Wisdom: If you find yourself looking up always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2019-10-25

I foresee this decade containing -1 meatballs because of microwave popcorn

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2019-10-25

I foresee this year containing eleven sad clowns because of a surge in online auctions

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2019-10-24