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"I-it exploded... I just popped the top open and... y-yeah... hey, come on, don't just stare! Help me rub it all in! Gah, what a waste. It's going to take forever for it all to disappear..."
"It's good to be home after such a rowdy night at the club. A nice hot cup of tea in my hands, and some delectable eye candy like you to go with it~ Only thing that could make this even better would be getting out of these fancy clothes... you don't mind me being naked, do you?"
"What a beautiful cock~ It feels so nice in my hand, and it's making me all hot! C-can I put it in my butt now?"