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Jerry Jones, talking to Cowboys fans:
“Big news: we’ve FIRED...”
“Oooooo”
“...our peanut vendor, who was awful.”
“Awwww.”
“But also, we’re moving on from Jason...”
“Oooooo”
“...the security guard, who is retiring.”
“Awwww.”
“There is no other news at this time.”
The fans:
A transcript of Marshawn Lynch's interview before returning to the Seahawks has leaked
When you see football on TV for the first time in 6 months
BREAKING: Kevin Durant has announced he has changed his mind about joining the Warriors and will now join the Cavs effective immediately
Rams P Johnny Hekker laid out a Seahawk, then realized doing that put his life in grave danger
(Video via @PFF_Sam)