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Everyone was very bored at work that day.
I'm so ready to quit—the pay sucks, and every night I go home reeking of hazelnut.
O.K., if you put it that way?
It’s paradise, but they’re still better in New York.
As a matter of fact, I do think I’m God!
And someone has stolen my identity.
I'm pretty well stocked, but you can leave me your card, if you like.
I'm not losing a daughter—I'm getting rid of a daughter.
Internet Epitaphs
Give me a minute—I'm working on my core.