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"This party is like a political cartoon. Someone’s smoking a big cigarette that says ‘American Workmanship’ on it."
"It’s being lit with a hundred-dollar-bill." (Andrew)
"An anvil that says ‘Congress’ is dangling above it." (Eric)
-Cat's Eye
"This movie should be rated PG-24. If you’re over the age of 24, you shouldn’t see this movie - it’s embarrassing."
-Dirty Grandpa
"He would just come in and go, 'I'm doing repairs,' and I'm like, 'I'm really high on mushrooms right now - can you not?'"
-On Astoria landlords having no chill, The Super
"Cobra has more grenades on him than I thought, which is any. Cops are supposed to have zero grenades."
-On Blue Lives Mattering So Much They Should Carry Multiple Explosives, Cobra (live)
"At five o'clock, instead of the five o'clock whistle, it's 'SHOOT HER!' and everyone gets a bunch of shooters in the bar...Let's open Muldoon's!"
-On the birth of a @WHMPodcast legend, Halloween III: Season of the Witch