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Leonie/Ingrid: You think your life is hard? My OTP has never interacted AND they're two of the most hated characters by the fandom.
Bernadetta/Marianne: Your love life is the definition of that Tumblr post that's "I have anxiety until I'm with someone who's more anxious than me, and then I suddenly overcome it all to do the scary thing."
Ignatz/Marianne: Your idea of lewd content is your OTP h*lding h*nds.
Lorenz/Hilda: You have fantasies about marrying a rich, snotty, but well-intentioned man, him "accidentally" dying in his sleep, and you inheriting all his money.
Dimivain: You think their B support ended in tender, loving makeouts, and the hidden A support was cut from the game because it was Sylvain inviting Dimitri to his room to [censored]
Felix/Lysithea: your idea of a pet name is something like "my sweetest pumpkin pie"
Hildagard: You took Hilda's "you're making me WORK" quote and turned it into something sexual.