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🇬🇧Retired Tory MP

The Most Troublesome Raigne And Most Lamentable Tragedie Of The Tories is out now!

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OH, DOGWHISTLE, AND I’LL COME TO YOU, MY LAD

By M.R. James and The Secret Tory.

A winter ghost story.

Part Four.

Farage set forth with Lee Anderson, for a walk.
“Extraordinary wind, that, we had last night” he said.

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The Secret Blog of Dominic Cummings, aged 13¾

Nov 24th

I went to Michael Gove’s house on my chopper and demanded to know why he betrayed me with Pandora. He told me he didn’t know what I was talking about, but I didn’t believe him because Pandora

1/6

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The secret blog of Dom Cummings, aged 13 3/4

Nov 11th

Now I know I'm an intellectual. I saw Malcolm Muggeridge on the TV last night and I understood nearly every word. It all adds up. Self-regard, no friends, not liking punk. I think I will join the library and see what happens

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Hi guys it's Michael Gove here. I've had to take Mark Francois's twitter account off him! Please direct all your future high level political correspondence via me.

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Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

June 22nd 1665

Up, and to my Monday morning kick-ass kardio class with Nick Ferrari on the mini-roundabout at the end of the estate where Admiral Grayling, who I find a very ingenious man, is kneeling on all fours

1/8

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Extracts from the plague diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

May 6th 1665

Up betimes and to Lidl to replenish my Monster stores a little, where going I was set upon by a great bulldogg, who got hold of my garters, and might have done me hurt; but, Lord, to see in what a warren
1/5

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Extracts from the plague diary of Mark-ne-Francois-Pepys

March 30th

Up and such is the panic victualing we be out of sugar puffs, so Hartley-Brewer improvising breakfast of pork scratchings in Monster. Abroad to the Anderson Shelter where I did dig out my

1/11

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Extracts from the Plague Diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

March 24th

Waked before 4 o'clock with great pain to piss & great pain in pissing by having, I think, drank too great a draught of Monster when playing some serious Call of Duty with Johnny Mercer before going to bed

1/7

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