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"O-Ohh... s-seeing how sad and hopeless people are with the #anitwtmatingseason tag... o-oh, it fills me with so much despair!~"
"You don't know true despair until you close twitter only to open it back up 10 seconds later."
"Why cum in a sock when I have a perfectly good mouth for you to use?"
"Remember, you don't have boobs unless you let me see them."