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Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to realize you suck

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2020-05-15

I foresee this season containing shitloads of FATTY-TATTY JELLY-BELLY BITCH-TITS because of crispy muffins

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2020-05-12

Wisdom: If you find yourself eating a sandwich always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-04-28

I foresee this day containing 133 SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of salty pirates on a boat.

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2020-04-25

I foresee this month containing shitloads of whiskey bottles because of money doesn't grow on trees

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2020-04-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember to realize you suck

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2020-04-15

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-04-10

Wisdom: If you find yourself looking up always remember to try harder

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2020-03-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to give up and go home

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2020-03-19

I foresee this year containing 279 SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-03-17

I foresee this decade containing loads of pencil erasers because of you

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2020-03-15

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember Burger King is only a bus-ride away

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2020-03-03

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to give up and go home

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2020-02-23

I foresee this hour containing eleven views on Youtube because of the algorithm that writes these tweets

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2020-02-21

I foresee this month containing 3 papayas because of The Last Jedi being a SHIT movie

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2020-01-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to make tacos

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2019-12-02

I foresee this week containing -1 empty paper bags because of a hat that wears a smaller hat as its hat

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2019-11-07