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Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to make tacos

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2020-06-10

Wisdom: If you find yourself with an empty fridge always remember to try harder

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2020-06-10

Wisdom: If you find yourself with an empty fridge always remember block of cheese

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2020-06-09

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-06-09

I foresee this month containing 1794461918 toothpaste tubes because of microwave popcorn

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2020-06-09

I foresee this season containing 10983938 empty paper bags because of sandals

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2020-06-09

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember to try harder

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2020-06-09

I foresee this month containing some whiskey bottles because of GLOBAL WARMING

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2020-06-07

I foresee this season containing 3 bird shits because of money doesn't grow on trees

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2020-06-07

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember to realize you suck

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2020-06-06

I foresee this month containing 1088 yoyos because of someone told me to say this

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2020-06-06

I foresee this year containing 283 hamburgers because of crispy muffins

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2020-06-05

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-06-05

Wisdom: If you find yourself with no friends always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-06-05

Wisdom: If you find yourself listening to a llama scream in the dead of night always remember block of cheese

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2020-06-05

I foresee this month containing too many spelleng mestakes because of your mom's appetite

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2020-06-05

I foresee this hour containing 13 snakes because of your mom's appetite

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2020-06-05

I foresee this half an hour containing some yoyos because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-06-04

I foresee this half an hour containing infinity spelleng mestakes because of a surge in online auctions

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2020-06-04

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-06-04