What does a plumber take with him when jumping out of a plane?

A crap chute

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This just in. Joe got clammy palms before his job interview.

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Uncured ham seeks second opinion after doctors fail to find a cure.

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quoted in saying, "Now is the time to put a steak in the ground and raise everyones celery”

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Unaware of the Beard Off Competition rules, Brian was immediately disqualified for shaving his off.

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This just in... Ann decided that the company needed to beef up the team.

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What did the garden Hosta sent from the future say?
Hosta La Vista, Baby

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Erin talked Reggie’s ears off.

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This just in... Sarah was caught brown handed fudging the numbers on the company taxes.

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T.J. Didn't have the bandwidth to work on the proposal this week.

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What do Muggle babies wear in the wizard world?

Muggies

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When it comes to working on spreadsheets, Bill is a real pro.

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This just in... Photographers are 98% more likely to flash people in public.

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Detroit is so poor that their parade floats sink.

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If and had a baby what would it be?
A Cat Fish

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Hollywood to make You've Got Snapchat, a contempory remake of the 1998 comedy You've Got Mail.

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