I see figures emerging from the Falcon, Chewie, R2, but no Han. Then I spot the girl who Ruin told me about. The girl from Jakku who has apparently taught herself more about the Force than I was ever able to learn from two legendary Jedi Masters. What does she want?

10 75
2018-06-28


I’m eagerly getting back into the swing of my monotonous, dismal daily routine when I notice a spacecraft appear in the distance. As it flys swiftly towards the island I realise it’s not just any old ship, it’s the Millennium Falcon. The Resistance have found me.

10 68
2018-06-26


Relieved as I am that Ruin has gone, l’m once again left dealing with the grave, strenuous consequences of using the doppelganger power. Kevin the Porg briefly watches my motionless, frail body before nonchalantly wandering off. It is the last I will ever see of him.

2 54
2018-06-24


By the time Ruin returns us to the island he has described & explained every last excruciating detail of the bizarre, illogical story he has planned. When he finally stops talking I tell him how exhausted, hopeless & depressed he’s made me feel. “Perfect,” he says.

9 73
2018-06-09


Ruin is unconcerned when I point out inconsistencies between my own four year struggle to become a Jedi & the remarkable things he claims this girl will achieve in little over a week. “You have to remember, this isn’t your story anymore Jake,” Ruin says. “It’s mine.”

13 77
2018-06-08


“Her tribulations will be very much like your own Jake,” Ruin says, as I marvel at how very unlike my own this girl’s tribulations will be. I ask Ruin how she will be able to do such incredible things without training. “Nobody will care about that,” Ruin assures me.

6 62
2018-06-07


“I am everything Obi Wan tried to warn you about Jake, & more,” the mysterious being says. “I have been granted power by my masters beyond anything you can imagine. I am now the architect of your reality. I am known by many names, but here you can call me... Ruin.”

10 62
2018-05-27


Shortly after the day’s fourth milk run I notice Kevin the Porg staring into the distance. He seems disturbed by something. I follow his gaze & see he’s looking at what appears to be Obi Wan. It’s hard to tell from this distance but something seems to be wrong.

1 32
2018-05-25


The hallucinations fade away. Using the “doppelganger” power has sapped away all my strength. I came to this island to die & it feels like that could happen at any moment. Martha, Joslyn, Olga, Mary, Sue & the protocol droid suddenly appear. I wonder what they want?

2 35
2018-05-16


I return my consciousness from the Force projection to my suddenly exhausted, unresponsive body. For some reason the “doppelganger” power seems to take a toll unlike any other Force ability I’ve ever used before. I don’t recall the sacred Jedi texts mentioning that.

6 49
2018-05-11


I awake with a very sore head, in the room that houses the sacred Jedi texts. Obi Wan smiles at me & explains he asked Mary & Sue to bring me here after I’d been knocked unconscious. Obi Wan has been trying to get me to consult these texts for weeks & now here I am.

5 38
2018-05-04


Mary & Sue turn their attention to me. I don’t need the protocol droid to translate, it’s clear they want me to help them defeat Supreme Leader Kevin. Almost instinctively I tell them to “go away”, so Sue angrily picks up the droid head & knocks me unconscious with it.

10 41
2018-05-03


Sue the Porg & her duplicate are inspiring the island inhabitants to take on & overthrow the Porg-Order. The protocol droid translates for me. Apparently Sue’s duplicate has decided to call herself “Mary”. A crowd gathers & chants their names: “Mary! Sue! Mary! Sue!”

6 48
2018-05-02


Just as I think things can’t possibly get any more surreal Sue the Porg appears to use the Force to create an exact duplicate of herself mid-battle. The two Sues swiftly deal with more Porg-Order reinforcements. The island inhabitants cry out in triumph & gratitude.

4 43
2018-05-01


Sue lands my rock in the midst of a battle. The Porg-Order clearly had the upper hand until Sue uses my blaster to shoot through three of them simultaneously. Then she jumps to the ground & dispatches the rest using only her staff. I cannot believe what I’m seeing.

6 46
2018-04-30


As I run from the prison I notice a small band of island inhabitants standing their ground against a group of Porg Order troopers. It warms my heart to witness their spirited defiance. I give in to my natural instincts & run as far away from the conflict as possible.

7 49
2018-04-21


Obi Wan has shown up again & this time I have no choice but to listen to his spectacular theories about a great disturbance in the Force. A disturbance that, the way he explains it, makes the destruction of Alderaan seem like a pack of Jawas fighting over droid parts.

6 42
2018-04-18


I’m starting to appreciate how Leia felt when she was Jabba’s captive, although Olga hasn’t forced me to wear any gratuitously revealing outfits, yet. I probably could’ve planned Han’s rescue better back then, but of course these days I wouldn’t have bothered at all.

5 53
2018-04-17


Just as I’m beginning to resign myself to my fate as a prisoner, I discover who my cell mate is going to be. I don’t know what crimes she has committed against the Porg-Order, but Olga seems to be delighted & excited to see me again. I have a bad feeling about this.

2 31
2018-04-16


I hear that name being called out again as I walk away from the mirror, “Luke”, the name of the other me. The me that apparently didn’t hide away from his friends. The me that seems to be facing his foes head on, like I used to in the old days. What does it all mean?

4 38
2018-04-08