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In which Winnie the Pooh (a bear of very little brain) and his good friend Piglet have adventures in the year 2022 and beyond (by @PaulRigbyWrites via AA Milne)

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“Open it, open it!” they chanted excitedly.
“All right,” said Pooh, “But if it’s another Gwyneth Paltrow head, I’ll be very disappointed”

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“Christopher Robin gave me a balloon for Christmas!” squealed Piglet. “What did you get?”
“A roll of paper wrapped in holly,” said Pooh.
“What did we get him?” asked Piglet.
“A velvetiser and a PS5,” said Pooh.
“He’s taking the piss isn’t he?” said Piglet.
“Yes,” said Pooh.

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“Remember when we used to go hunting heffalumps?” said Pooh sadly.
“Or woozles,” said Piglet.
“Shut up and paint,” said Christopher Robin.

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“Hello Mr Penguin!” said Piglet. “Do you want to dance?”
“Oh dear, looks like he’s back on the ketamine,” said Eeyore.

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After three hours on a log with a naked bear, Piglet was beginning to regret swiping right.

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Pooh was devastated to find out his application to Hogwarts had been unsuccessful.

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“Do you ever feel like just ending it all?” said Pooh.

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Bump! Bump! Bump! went Pooh’s head on the stairs as he realised Christopher Robin had spiked his honey.

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