Yoon Seungho's Loverさんのイラストまとめ

“Despite myself” = he’s conflicted and confused by what he feels, his heart and body pull him toward Seungho but his mind is protesting.

“I think about you coming inside me” = he wants to be claimed by Seungho, he wants to feel more of his warmth.

“My heart starts racing” = I used to be surprised why Nakyum was so confused and shocked by his racing heart, until I realized it’s because he never experienced it before – INHUN HAS NEVER MADE HIS HEART RACE, ONLY SEUNGHO HAS MANAGED TO DO THAT.

BAEK NAKYUM HAS JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE FOR YOON SEUNGHO! THIS IS A FREAKING LOVE CONFESSION, this is Nakyum being honest about his feelings

#PainterOfTheNight
And this is why: a thread +

The most heartbreaking thing is that Nakyum has been in love with a lie for so long that now, when he has the real thing, when Seungho genuinely adores him and gives him real warmth he can't see it. #PainterOfTheNight

Being a manhwa, #PainterOfTheNight lacks the acoustic mode therefore the reader has no way of finding out the tone,intonation or timbre of the character’s voice unless they see his facial expression. However,Byeonduck deliberately doesn’t show it to us at very particular moments.

It’s not about discovering the visible but about seeing the invisible, what is hidden in plain sight. The same narrative means is used to show NK’s reaction to SH’s explanation why he’s been so kind to him: we only see his chin, never his eyes or facial expression in that moment.

Byeonduck doesn’t show his expressions to the readers during these moments, but still gives them visual clues to uncover the truth if they read between the lines and notice Seungho’s body language.

During these two fleeting moments he reveals his vulnerablity while, at the same time, trying to hide it by turning his back to Nakyum so the painter wouldn’t notice it.