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My life’s ambition for about three months when I was 11 was to be a magician
216) @JamesonFrost
Red had laughed at Li’l Choochoo for sinking his entire fortune in Netflix stock 15 years ago, but who’s laughing now?
211) @blindvibe
Mouse High School’s Marine Biology/Intercultural Exchange was a huge success
210) @sporadicdummi
When management puts you in charge of something despite your strenuous objections that you don’t want any more responsibilities.
179) @decadantism
At great expense, Jim made one of those 3D perspective things (that only works of you look at it from an exact angle and spot) of his fiancée Janice
Everyone privately agreed it was hideous.
177) @conradkfranz
The Lyft driver who is a perfectly decent person but just a little too chatty
167) @amdaddeo