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@pyxistyxGWJ His Grindr profile says 6’0” but he’s definitely 5’5”. Maybe even 5’3”. Also, he has far fewer eyestalks than his pics suggest. Also, his skin’s a different color. He can’t even shoot a sleep ray. You’ve been catfished. You go clubbing anyway. He’s a surprisingly good dancer.
@ChosenOnesDnD You go thrifting together. They’re vegan. Their tinder bio says “communist” but they’re nervous around homeless people. They buy you froyo from Red Mango. When you get home, they’ve Venmoed you for the froyo with tax included. The note reads, “Don’t forget pleaaaase lol ty”
@lanidandee They work in IT but they want to be a poet. Their favorite writers are Sylvia Plath and Mary Oliver. You go to a drive-in movie and make out furiously in the front seat of their 2008 Toyota Tundra. They cry about their ex. After you break up, they write a call-out post about you.
@robosardi You go hiking in the hills behind his house. He keeps asking if you identify as an e-girl. He keeps saying he wants an e-girl girlfriend. At his bungalow, he shows you his collection of hand carved stone figures of mice and voles. They look very realistic. He’s a hoarder.
@velmadykeIy She messages you first on Tinder, asking if you’re interested in a “very regular human date.” You say yes. You go bowling. She wears long sleeves even though it’s 78 degrees. She orders a “very regular human drink” from the bar. She beats you 190 to 75.
@HiGlossTTV You wake up with him in your bed. You can’t remember last night. You have a tattoo of a bunch of grapes on your forearm that wasn’t there before. You’re missing a tooth. Also, this isn’t your bed. Also, he’s wearing your shoes and you’re wearing his shirt. It’s awesome.
@kababsyouruncle She’s the vice principal at a middle school and a single mom. She packs lunches for all of her kids and tucks handwritten notes into each of them. You go to the county fair and ride the ferris wheel and joke about mid-life crises. The fireworks are colorful. You’re in love.
@YikesItsTristan You go to Red Lobster. She orders shrimp scampi. You’re not sure if you should be weirded out by that. She works in engineering and is estranged from her mom. Her claws keep knocking over the bread basket. She compliments the Instagram page you made for your dog. You get married.
@DiceModifiers You go to an art gallery together. It’s an exhibit on modern love. His favorite piece is a journal full of crushed flowers. He always looks a little sad. He Juuls and has 14k followers on TikTok. You go on a second date but he’s a lot less interesting. You let him down easy.
During Episode 5, our players faced off against some NASTY beasties, courtesy of GM @byConnieChang's horrifying imagination.
Members of our Discord community brought them to life! Mr. Scorpion-Tentacle-Mouth is drawn by David. Flying-Cape-of-Teeth is by @pyxistyxGWJ!
#dnd