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@MagikarpTweet You go apple-picking. She’s a recent grad (photography and gender studies) and feels utterly lost. You can relate. Her apartment is small but tidy. You start making pies. Your hand brushes her tentacle(s). You make love on the counter and it tastes like apples.
@ItsMe_CaitlinM He takes you to the skate park and makes you record him doing tricks, gives feedback on your angles, and berates you for not trying harder. He exclusively hangs with mean stoners. He ignores you while he’s playing 4K. After you break up, he starts dating your best friend.
@ftlcast You meet at 3:13 A.M. on a Tuesday, on the corner of Black and Forsyth. He hands you a jar full of blood and hair. You hand him a 20% off coupon at Speedway. He slowly drifts back into the deadwoods. You never hear from him again. Is this love?
@shadowravyn She’s a bad vegan: as in, her mother taught her better; as in, she has a predilection for bugs. You volunteer at an old folks’ home together and everyone knows her. She makes you feel unworthy, but that’s not on her; it’s a “you” thing. Maybe you should go to therapy.
@TalesofAsperran You go swimming in the lake three miles from the bottling plant. She wants to get out of this town. You make love on the dunes. A freak thunderstorm forms. Lightning strikes! When the dust clears, there’s two of her. You agree to form a polycule.
@EveryoneDice You go bowling. He’s surprised you haven’t heard of him. He orders drinks and wings and pays for everything. He’s been to every country and has to cut the date early to catch a flight to Belize. He’s interesting, but ultimately you don’t call back; he just seems kind of empty.
@bmagrieveson He’s not looking for anything long term. You play smash and then you smash. He starts crying. You stop in alarm. He says he’s never been with a lover who’s treated him with such gentleness, like he was some beautiful creature, and not a monster. You cry, too. You’re going steady.
@CoraEckert Two words: power lesbian. She takes you to a fancy restaurant with like, three things on the menu, and lighting so dim your eyes start hurting. Her eyes are fine. She has Darkvision. She talks about growing up in Texas and having four brothers and wanting to get out. You kiss.
@beholdertonoone You get boba and watch a movie. Halfway through, she puts her claw on your hand. Sparks fly. She’s going back to school for nursing. She’s been single for a few hundred years. You go back to her place and marvel at her hoard of tarot cards.
@pherbear She takes you to a poetry reading in the arts district. The venue operates out of an old bottling warehouse and smells faintly of craft beer. Halfway into the reading, she gets up under a stage name and blows everyone else out of the water. She compares you to the tide.