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I foresee this half an hour containing some yoyos because of pencil cases with mashed potatoes in them

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2020-06-04

I foresee this day containing 2309 views on Youtube because of sandals

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2020-05-31

I foresee this week containing infinity whiskey bottles because of The Last Jedi being a SHIT movie

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2020-05-16

Wisdom: If you find yourself looking up always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2020-04-20

I foresee this half an hour containing eleven pencil erasers because of life being the way it is Son.

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2020-04-18

I foresee this half an hour containing 4073098130107507 whiskey bottles because of microwave popcorn

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2020-04-13

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember no one loves you Dave

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2020-04-06

Wisdom: If you find yourself with a banana in your ear always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-03-22

Wisdom: If you find yourself being fingered always remember to try harder

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2020-03-17

I foresee this month containing 4083 purple monkeys because of a hole in my neighbor's roof

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2020-03-01

I foresee this week containing 1088 sad clowns because of GLOBAL WARMING

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2020-02-26

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember to SELL SELL SELL!

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2020-02-25

I foresee this hour containing too few papayas because of a hat that wears a smaller hat as its hat

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2020-02-07

I foresee this day containing 1794461918 balloons with your face on them because of a hat that wears a smaller hat as its hat

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2020-01-21

Wisdom: If you find yourself reading through SHIT tweets on Twitter always remember reading gay motivational posts online won't make you a better person.

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2019-11-27

I foresee this hour containing a reasonable amount of shower income because of you

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2019-11-26

I foresee this half an hour containing too many SMELLY TURTLE SHITS because of a hat that wears a smaller hat as its hat

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2019-11-17

Wisdom: If you find yourself with dandruff always remember to realize you suck

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2019-11-14