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Cerebus = all dogs are Geminis I don;'t amke the rules
Theseus = why you letting Aries bois with oily nips break your heart?
Patroclus = Virgo bc they moody af when they are stuck at an impasse and will make overthinking an aesthetic
Achilles = Leo bc only Leos can be this kinda sexy mmmmm
Hermes = Gemini because they love to talk about everything but also they flaky af and Hermes I know you're flaky af and I'm sick of only talking to you on your own terms OMG this is why we broke up
Ares = Saggi ( not ARies - the main difference is that Aries boys are too playful/reckless and will leave you for nose piercing girl - this is a manz that will act distant and shit but surprise you with tickets to Motown on Saturday night)
Artemis = Aquarius, the introverted kid at school who everyone avoids bc they like to show you their bug collection but after getting to know them you have your first gay awakening only for them to leave town on a bus for the city because dad has found a new job oh no don't leave
Aphrodite = Taurus (Gemini Cusp) because honestly she just wants everyone to live in the momenta nd live their best lives
Headcanon is that she's also asexual af
Athena = Aries who acts all high and mighty but we all know your dirty dirty secrets athena I read the lorebooks you cannot SHIELD your lies forever
Zeus = Big Leo (Cancer Cusp) Energy but not the nice kind where they'll be loyal no matter what because their morality is based off how horny they are at any time