//=time() ?>
Cerebus = all dogs are Geminis I don;'t amke the rules
Theseus = why you letting Aries bois with oily nips break your heart?
Patroclus = Virgo bc they moody af when they are stuck at an impasse and will make overthinking an aesthetic
Achilles = Leo bc only Leos can be this kinda sexy mmmmm
Demeter = Cancer bc she will bake you cookies every week and take you to the fair but lawd if you piss her off you're gonna get the asian slipper treatment
Hermes = Gemini because they love to talk about everything but also they flaky af and Hermes I know you're flaky af and I'm sick of only talking to you on your own terms OMG this is why we broke up
Dionysus = that Libra friend who will get you pissed drunk at a party but send you home in a grab and pay for it not just bc they care but bc you somehow chose to spill your deepest insecurities to him and he was like ay man it's cool we all have bad days
Ares = Saggi ( not ARies - the main difference is that Aries boys are too playful/reckless and will leave you for nose piercing girl - this is a manz that will act distant and shit but surprise you with tickets to Motown on Saturday night)
Artemis = Aquarius, the introverted kid at school who everyone avoids bc they like to show you their bug collection but after getting to know them you have your first gay awakening only for them to leave town on a bus for the city because dad has found a new job oh no don't leave