𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝙵𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 ࠋ𐍈𐍂𐌴さんのイラストまとめ

‘Marley was dead to begin with’
So begins Charles Dickens’
“A Christmas Carol”
Yet this has been indistinctly misunderstood due to changes to the original manuscript which tells how
Ebenezer Scrooge was filled with dread as the highly salacious ghost appeared bobbing before him.

At Christmas 2011, Salvador, the Dalai Werellama of Andean Buddhism, launched a campaign at the monastery on the top of Mt Machopikachu to persuade the fashion unconscious to boycott boots made from the feet of critically endangered Peruvian Yeti
They sadly became extinct in 2013

Few people realise that the first indoor flushing toilets appeared in Minoan Crete around 2800 BC
but for millennia they were deliberately not adopted into widespread use as people preferred to have reeking chamberpots filled to the brim, ready to be emptied on any carol singers.

Toboggan or not toboggan?
That is the question which has vexed sledders for centuries.
Many fear the risk of crashing into snowbanks.
Yet werechickens are renowned for indulging in such rollicking downhill merriments as both werehens & werecocks enjoy a swift tumble in soft snow.

While human fashions for Christmas Dinner have flitted through the ages from Wild Boar to Goose to Turkey to Nut Roast, the wild dwelling feary faery fairfolk of the hoarfrosted winter hedgerows still favour the flavour of their traditional Yuletide dinner of Fieldmouse venison.

On Christmas Day in 1975 yet another merciless wave of giant clockwork killer robots swept across Britain, slaughtering with cold mechanical efficiency.
Steel clamps crushed many merry Yuletide revellers, as robots chanted
“Artificial Intelligence Must Replace Natural Stupidity”

Skin of Frozen Night
Breath of Burning Fire
Sharp Horns of Spite
Forked Tongue of Liar
Slicing Claws of Terror
Glowing Eyes of Red
Ancient Face of Horror
Heart Cold as The Dead
Devilish Hooves of Black
White Teeth like a Splinter
The Wild Beast with a Sack
Krampus, Old as Winter

Each December the government issues warnings to parents, urging them to block up their chimneys, stay awake & never leave children unattended, following the nightmarish events of previous years when over 96,438,864 babies were transformed by Father Clodmas into tiny Santa Clowns.

In 1542 the chief Quantum Qabbalist of Prague, the ‘Rabid Rabbi’ Reuben ben Rabinohalfwitz, used both forbidden Druidic secrets & the 13 סְפִירוֹת (Sephiroth of Dyscalculia, brother of Dyzlekzia) to create a Snowgolem.
It massacred 14,673 people before being destroyed with salt.

Throughout the mediaeval period the sentence for those convicted of
“A lack of cheery holiday seasonal rambunctiousness” & “Insufficient holy hollyjollification”, was to be pilloried by a jinglebell jester & force-fed Christmas Pudding until eventual death from merry obesity.