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Dearest Darkest Readers, these tweets are #Dark #Comedy #Steampunk #Fantasy #Horror #SciFi #Poetry #Satire #FolkHorror #Fiction etc.
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According to a 2017 report by the Institute of Orthodox Orthodontists 87% of cavities in teeth are inhabited by contagious magical pandaemonic toothworms & other incubiotic parapsychological parasites.

67% of infested incisors exorcised in 2016 were repossessed within 3 months.

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In 1976 the Wimbledon tennis Women’s semi-finals were interrupted, just as number 2 seed Alice Ipsmouth was about to serve, when an eldritch susurration from the watching crowd inadvertently opened a transparadigmensional portal, causing a Shogadoth to manifest on Centre Court.

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In 1313 Lupus de Loup-Garou, archbishop of Toulouse, became the first of surprisingly few lycanthropes to be canonised by the church.
Known in English speaking countries as Saint Werewolf, devotees address prayers to him every full moon & wear crucifixes, but not made of silver.

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For ladies with a taste for designer gear, in 1888 the main spring fashion was the friction driven clockwork dress.
It came in a range of bust sizes from minute to pendulous & for the exceptionally daring the waistline came with an optional mechanical vibrating cuckoo attachment.

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It is said all good things must come to an end.
So it was for the profession of Honied Rat Seller.
Once a way for a poor man to get out of the gutter, via the sewer, formerly prosperous Sweet Rat Peddlers became destitute, driven out of business by the new fashion for Sugar Mice.

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While burning Wicker Men & Women at seasonal festivals remained as popular as ever, in 1971 public concern over the fate of their Wicker Children led the Bardic Order of Druids to open a Wicker Orphanage to lovingly raise parentless Wickids until they were ready for sacrifice.

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For untold millennia scientists could not explain why the dinosaurs disappeared.

When the prehistoric Dead Sea Scrolls were translated, the truth was revealed.

Jesusaurus, Rex of Rex, saved the dinosaurs from eternal extinction by sweeping them up to Heaven in a Velocirapture.

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In 1821 undisputed Witch Queen of Kensington, Sabetha Black, the former Countess of Norsex, briefly became the hidden ruler of Great Britain when she made a poppet of the Prime Minister, Robert Jenkinson, 2nd Earl of Liverpool, and through him seized control of the government.

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Koalas in the Land Downunder take pity on those lost in the Australian outback & charitably make tea from Eucalyptus leaves to save any dying of thirst.
Unfortunately Koalas always leave leaves in this tea when served.
As Shakespeare said:
The Koala Tea Of Mercy Is Not Strained.

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In 1843, while delirious from imbibing laudanum, metapsychical artist & poet Blake William beheld a vision of an anglepoise lamp, which he immediately patented.
In punishment for his hubris the Celestial Illuminati Alliance transformed him into the constellation “The Tiger”.

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