𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝙵𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 ࠋ𐍈𐍂𐌴さんのイラストまとめ

In 1896 palaeontologists discovered compelling evidence that prehistoric therianthropomegafauna celebrated Midwinter festivals, when a cave painting was unearthed showing a weremammoth, woolywererhino, giant weresloth & other palaeolithic werebeings conducting a ritual ice dance.

Nowadays children leave a carrot out on Christmas Eve then listen for the sound of jinglebells & a clip-clopping of reindeer hooves upon the rooftops.
But in Victorian times kiddiwinks left raw meat then hid in terror as roofs collapsed beneath the weight of angry polarbear paws.

In 1889 children in France were reliever to learn that Père Noël would henceforth be adopting the fashion for reindeer set by his American counterpart Santa Claus & British incarnation Father Christmas, prior to which unwary tots were pressganged into pulling his sleigh each year

In 2006 a team of Forensic Chefs working for the Metropolitan Police investigated complaints from numerous members of the public that the Christmas Puddings bought from
“Jolly Todd’s Masterbakery”
in Fleet Street, although extremely toothsome, had rather more bite than expected.

‘Marley was dead to begin with’
So begins Charles Dickens’
“A Christmas Carol”
Yet this has been indistinctly misunderstood due to changes to the original manuscript which tells how
Ebenezer Scrooge was filled with dread as the highly salacious ghost appeared bobbing before him.

Few people realise that the first indoor flushing toilets appeared in Minoan Crete around 2800 BC
but for millennia they were deliberately not adopted into widespread use as people preferred to have reeking chamberpots filled to the brim, ready to be emptied on any carol singers.

Toboggan or not toboggan?
That is the question which has vexed sledders for centuries.
Many fear the risk of crashing into snowbanks.
Yet werechickens are renowned for indulging in such rollicking downhill merriments as both werehens & werecocks enjoy a swift tumble in soft snow.

While human fashions for Christmas Dinner have flitted through the ages from Wild Boar to Goose to Turkey to Nut Roast, the wild dwelling feary faery fairfolk of the hoarfrosted winter hedgerows still favour the flavour of their traditional Yuletide dinner of Fieldmouse venison.

In 1542 the chief Quantum Qabbalist of Prague, the ‘Rabid Rabbi’ Reuben ben Rabinohalfwitz, used both forbidden Druidic secrets & the 13 סְפִירוֹת (Sephiroth of Dyscalculia, brother of Dyzlekzia) to create a Snowgolem.
It massacred 14,673 people before being destroyed with salt.

Throughout the mediaeval period the sentence for those convicted of
“A lack of cheery holiday seasonal rambunctiousness” & “Insufficient holy hollyjollification”, was to be pilloried by a jinglebell jester & force-fed Christmas Pudding until eventual death from merry obesity.