𝕮𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘 𝙵𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫 ࠋ𐍈𐍂𐌴さんのイラストまとめ

In 1326 Celandine Gruberschnitzel invented the first whale-powered commercial submarine.

Its maiden voyage beneath the now evaporated Sea of Vienna was somewhat marred by the craft straying too close to the infamous Viennese Whirlpool & the resultant drowning of all passengers.

Midwynter, the county town of Wynterset, is home to Saint Porcelain’s Dolls Hospital.
Although most patients are admitted with minor injuries requiring nothing more than stitches or the treatment of a broken arm, the secure psychiatric ward houses dolls who have severely cracked.

The wise shall always remember the old saying,
“Not all Green Giants are jolly.”
Long before the advent of tinned peas & sweetcorn, murderous leafy Etins roamed the land.
Eternally hungering, they delighted in capturing & devouring their favourite prey, “human beans”.

Rose's were Purple

Violet's were Blue

Iris's were Green

Pansy's were Brown

Hyacinth's were Indigo

Lily's were Hazel

Marigold's were Grey

Blossom's were Azure

Cherry's were Violet

But...

What colour are the eyes

That the dolls will steal

From you?

In 1896 palaeontologists discovered compelling evidence that prehistoric therianthropomegafauna celebrated Midwinter festivals, when a cave painting was unearthed showing a weremammoth, woolywererhino, giant weresloth & other palaeolithic werebeings conducting a ritual ice dance.

Nowadays children leave a carrot out on Christmas Eve then listen for the sound of jinglebells & a clip-clopping of reindeer hooves upon the rooftops.
But in Victorian times kiddiwinks left raw meat then hid in terror as roofs collapsed beneath the weight of angry polarbear paws.

In 1889 children in France were reliever to learn that Père Noël would henceforth be adopting the fashion for reindeer set by his American counterpart Santa Claus & British incarnation Father Christmas, prior to which unwary tots were pressganged into pulling his sleigh each year

In 2006 a team of Forensic Chefs working for the Metropolitan Police investigated complaints from numerous members of the public that the Christmas Puddings bought from
“Jolly Todd’s Masterbakery”
in Fleet Street, although extremely toothsome, had rather more bite than expected.

‘Marley was dead to begin with’
So begins Charles Dickens’
“A Christmas Carol”
Yet this has been indistinctly misunderstood due to changes to the original manuscript which tells how
Ebenezer Scrooge was filled with dread as the highly salacious ghost appeared bobbing before him.

Few people realise that the first indoor flushing toilets appeared in Minoan Crete around 2800 BC
but for millennia they were deliberately not adopted into widespread use as people preferred to have reeking chamberpots filled to the brim, ready to be emptied on any carol singers.