"If you watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me in a variety of sexually explicit positions."
“We’d like to dedicate this next number to a very special woman. She's a hundred years old, and she weighs over 200...tonnes.”
“This enormous woman will devour us all!”
“Kids, Itchy and Scratchy can’t be here today. But instead, we’ve got the next best thing. It’s the Stingy and Battery show!”
“You’ve clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them on top of the donut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles.”
“Well, the real humans won’t, uh, won’t burn quite so fast in there.”
“Hey, is that a camera in the ceiling?”
“No. Go back to sleep.”
"I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T...I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"
“Wow. You look really hungover, Dad. What did you do last night?”
“Last night? Um...”