“When I started this clown thing, I thought it would be nothing but glory. You know, the glory of being a clown. I tell you, it's hard, tiring work. But when I see the smiles on their little faces, I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something.”
“As you know, it’s been my lifelong dream to become a blackjack dealer.”
“Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on The Gong Show. And you did it in 1977, remember?”
“My coat was stolen at last week’s interfaith banquet, so I helped myself to a few of the better umbrellas.”
“Did anyone see that new Woodsy Allen movie?”
“You know, I like his films, except for that nervous fellow who’s always in them.”
“It’s no secret. Our city’s under siege by a graffiti vandal known as ‘El Barto’. Police artists have a composite sketch of the culprit.”
"Listen, Tabbouleh. We're ignoring all your demands, what do you say to that?"
"All I can give you are these chewable Prozac for kids. Your choice: Manic-Depressive Mouse, or the Bluebird of Unhappiness."